I Hope You Tell Him!

 

#IHopeYouTellHim

I hope you'll love your son so fiercely that he'll be able to know it when he finds her and reflect it daily as he pursues her...

I hope you learn to tell your son daily that he is enough and loved,
So that he doesn't waste his life pursuing stuff that have no eternal value...
So that he doesn't waste his energy on women who are opportunist...

I hope you tell your son daily that he has a great skin,
So that he doesn't define beauty in a woman through colourism but character.

I hope you tell your son that he is strong.
So that when the storms of life try to beat him
senseless, he'll remember your words and fight back tooth and nail.

I hope you'll tell your son daily, he never has to walk alone.
So that he'll learn to value true friendships and accountability before God and man.

I hope you'll tell your son that living responsibly sometimes will demand that he walks the straight and narrow path.
That not everyone will be cheering him on,all the time.
And that's okay!

I hope you'll tell your son that being a leader and a priest is part of his natural design.
I hope you'll model these as you raise him up because the world needs it.
Men of character and integrity!

I hope you tell your son that he's a King, and teach him to live and think like one.
So that he never tries to find it by pursuing money, women, drugs or status...

I hope you tell your son, it's okay to fail and make mistakes.
So that when he'll have failed big time and messed up, he'll come back to you, knowing he's not condemned and will take responsibility for his actions.

I hope you tell your son daily, he's never alone, God is within him.
So that when he's all grown up and you're long dead, he'll remember, he has someone else to talk to.

#HeartToHeartConversations

Love,

Winnie Doxa.

I Hope You Tell Her!

#IHopeYouTellHer

I hope you love your daughter so fiercely,
So that she'll be able to distinguish between true love and counterfeits...

I hope you learn to tell your daughter daily, she's beautiful and loved,
So that she doesn't fall prey to people who want to take advantage of her...

I hope you tell your daughter daily she has a great skin,
So that she never has to think she needs to change it,to fit in.

I hope you tell your daughter that she's strong.
So that when the storms of life try to beat her senseless, she'll remember your words and fight back.

I hope you tell your daughter that, she's enough.
So that she never has to try finding validation from the wrong people.

I hope you tell your daughter, it's okay to fail and make mistakes.
So that when she'll have failed big time and messed up, she'll come back to you, knowing she's not condemned.

I hope you tell your daughter daily, she's never alone, God is within her.
So that when she's all grown up and you're long dead, she'll remember, she has someone else to talk to.

#HeartToHeartConversations

Love,

Winnie Doxa.

My Quarantine Struggles

#MyQuarantineStruggles!

How did that happen?
I wondered,
In this quarantine,
I decided I'll not miss the online church service,
The online Bible study and everything that can help me stay on the narrow path,
You know...

But hey,
Stuff happens,
I don't know how I got myself here.
It started with a call,
He told me he had missed me,
He said that he's been wanting to tell me something, but, he just didn't know how.
At this point, my heart was pumping like water released from a reservoir,
Many thoughts were crossing my mind with excitement at the imagination of us being together.
For a moment, my mind wondered...
"Kwani God huyu #DearFutureHusbae umemleta mapema aje?
Sikuwa na haraka hivi but anyway, si wewe ni God, I'll flow with it. "

How did I get myself here?
One call led to another,
To late night chats,
And video calls...
I was on flight mode ya'll , ready to fly in the direction my heart beat.
After all, maybe God has allowed this quarantine to be the season we finally get together.
I thought to myself...
He told me, he can't wait for the quarantine to end.
We got to do this now!
I was so excited,
Battling every voice of reason in me
I just wanted this to be my reality
I just wanted to say, 'I have someone. '
Lol!

The more time elapsed,
The more the reality that this was never meant to be hit me.
He's single, I'm single, we like each other, let's just get together, you know...
I tried to convince myself,
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I needed yet another confirmation from God.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I needed to repent of willful sin.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I felt I was fighting so hard for what wasn't mine.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I felt we were never on the same page...

So,
This piece I'm writing to all singles battling this quarantine realities,
I wonder if you've had a, "how did I get myself here moments..."
I wonder if you've allowed yourself to believe the lie that it's now or never,
Remember, #HeIsWorthTheWait!
I wonder if you've fallen into the trap of the line, I've always wanted to tell you this...
Have you settled for less?

I'm  writing to all married people battling this quarantine realities,
I wonder if you've also had a, "how did I get myself here moments..."
I wonder if you've allowed yourself to be soothed by her/ his seductive words...
I wonder if you you've allowed yourself to believe that so and so's marriage is better than yours cause of what you see them post...
I wonder if you've fallen into the trap of being on social media checking out someone and wishing you were with them...
Have you believed the lie that your husband or wife is not good enough?

God,
I repent, in sackcloth and ashes,
Search me and know me,
Keep me from willful sin,
Protect me from every temptation magnified by this quarantine season.
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit more and more
Because I've figured,
You're all that I really need.
In Jesus name I pray!
Amen!

May God protect us from every temptation magnified by this Quarantine Season.
#WeShallOvercome!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa.

From the collection #HeartToHeart! ❤️

#BlackLivesMatter

Dear George Floyd!

I'm sorry we've met in this manner,
As I write this,
My heart is filled with inexpressible pain and sorrow,
It's unfortunate that the world has gotten to know you in a way that no human deserves to be known
At the point of your untimely death.

I can tell you were a fighter,
I've watched you fight to live under the knees of an officer,
They had your hands down, you still fought with your voice
And I can't breath is the statement you said more than once...

Were they listening?
Were they thinking about your pain?
Could they feel the groan in your voice?
Do they have brothers, sons and fathers?
I wonder,
Do they even have a heart?

It didn't have to end like this,
But it has,
Does it have to take another black life for us to realize that we are first humans before we are coloured?

I can't imagine what's going on in the hearts and minds of your family and friends.
No one deserves to see a loved one die in this manner.
You've died a fighter, fighting for your very life.

Your death is an awakening for us to start living as humans, coloured or not
For us to value life more
For governments to deal with their citizens in a respectful way
For policies to change
For love to be our uniting factor
And if tired is what we have been waiting for,
Watching you die has moved us beyond tired of racism
Something has to change!

My prayers goes out to everyone affected in one way or another by this evil #racism!
My deepest condolences to the family and friends!
I'm praying for you!

Heart felt,
Winnie Doxa.
_
Rest In Power! 

From the collection #BrokenPieces!

Dear Future Husbae

#DearFutureHusbae

I've been thinking about you a lot lately,
I don't know whether it's cause of the quarantine...lol!
Or it's cause of the pressure of seeing images all over my social media of couples...
Or it cause most of my friends are all married...
Or it's cause of all the voices that tell me, why am I still single?
Or it's cause I really wish we were together by now...
Mmh!
*sighs*

If you'd have asked me,
I would have married you 6 years ago,
Yeah, you heard me right...
But looking back, I'm glad I didn't cause it probably would have ended up being a regret ever after,
I was so full of myself,
I thought it was your job to make me happy
To determine my worth, to make me feel like a queen...
Clearly, I put you on a pedestal...

I'm glad I was first introduced to Him (Christ)
Before we meet,
I'm glad He's jealous love for me kept us from meeting,
I won't lie to you, I didn't trip, I did, a number of times, trying to find you in men who didn't know what it's like to treat a King's child.
My heart got broken,
As many times as I tried to find you in them.
Quite honestly, I'm glad it was,
Cause more than ever, I've now gotten really tire of being tired, like for real...
Honey, you are so worth the wait!
And I will wait for you, if it takes all my life...
I remember, I prayed for you
And I still do.

Dear Husbae,
You're probably thinking that I'm so perfect right now,
I'm not, I still fall short, in many ways,
But I'm willing to become better everyday as I submit myself to Christ first,
I'm willing to learn your silent language and memorize it like my birthday date.
I'm willing to uphold you in absolute love and purity until we say, I do!
I'm willing to stay,
To be your ride or die,
To communicate my fears, dreams and everything in between
I'm willing to be yours, not just by name but with all that I am.

I wonder though,
Are you ready for me?
Will you be still asleep like Adam awaiting a heavenly awakening?
Will you be able to read beyond my smiles and silence,
Will you be willing to uphold  me in absolute love and purity in our becoming process...
Will you be able to resist this fleeting beauty and devote yourself to learning the rhythm of my heart?
The rhythm of Christ's heart towards me?
Will you be willing to die to your deep passions for me, daily, that Christ may be glorified through us?
Will you be willing to fight for our our love, as if it's the best love story ever told?
Will you be willing to keep pursuing me even after we say, I do?
Will you be willing to love me daily like Christ loves His church?
Will you be willing to listen to my crazy stories and laugh with me?
Will you be willing to share your deepest thoughts with me,
Confident that you'll find  refuge in my heart.

Man!
I've been thinking about you alot lately,
I wonder if you have,
One thing I'm sure about,
You are worth the wait!
And, I will wait for you!

Thinking about you!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa.

From the collection #HeartToHeart!

#GoodWoman

Let's Start Over Again!

#NewBeginning!

I want to call you X,
But honestly,
I never saw you as one,
Our friendship was unique,
Our attraction was electrifying
And our love, binding.
Or so, I thought.

Even after we broke up,
Part of me, carried you everywhere I went,
I compared the men I had with you,
Because deep inside I wished I was still with you
None of those relationships worked,
Maybe mostly because I never fully allowed my heart to let go of you

I was foolish,
Everyday I wished you could come back
I hoped you could call me back
Maybe I overrated the love you had for me
Maybe I believed the lie that no man would love me like you did
Maybe I was too afraid to trust God with this part of me,
My heart.

So, today,
After almost two decades of knowing you,
I've finally gathered the courage to call you my X
I've finally decided to give this heart back to the one who gave it to me,
God!
Atleast I know He can stop the world just to prove that He loves me,
Something I wish you did, but maybe you didn't love me enough to dare to try.

Dear X,
Thank you for the lessons you taught me.
Thank you for showing me how long suffering I can be.
Thank you for challenging me to believe God for better beyond what you could ever become.
Thank you for creating fears that translated to bold moves
Thank you for helping me find me.
I would love to carry you with me,
But I can't,
Because more than I want to remain safe.
I got to grow.
It's finally, truly, over!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa.

Song playing #WeDance by #BethelMusic 🥰