What If...

By now, we all are aware God is trying to communicate something.
Or maybe you are too self absorbed to think that it's just another challenge, you'll figure it out...mmh!

But,
what if,
What if like the Israelites in the wilderness this goes on and on until we embrace obedience...

What if like Sodom and Gomorrah it's a time to turn away from our wicked ways...

What if like Cain it's a time to offer our best in  worship...

What if like Eve it's a time to think through the  choices we've made and live with the consequences...

What if like Sarah it's a time to hope against hope that God's promise for our lives will come to pass and avoid the temptation to do it our way...

What if like Esther it's a time to rise up as leaders, get on our knees, dare to face our fears for the sake of our nation and our loved ones...

What if like Hannah this is a time to desperately petition for what our hearts deeply desire...

What if like Moses this is our burning bush experience, a time to say yes to God or to turn away from His will...

What if like Pontius Pilate this is a time to realize that we are not in a power struggle and give up the fight...

What if like Nebuchadnezzar this is an opportunity to repent from abuse of power and authority God has given us and get our act right...

What if like Joshua this is a time to gather all  strength and courage for our next assignment...

What if like Mary ( Jesus's Mother) this is the beginning of carrying the miraculous and letting go of every plan we had in mind for our lives...

What if like the disciples this is the time to not just preach the sermons we've heard from Jesus ( in this case from our Pastors and church leaders) over the years but more so to live them out...

What if like Simon Peter the question we all need to answer Jesus is,"do we love Him?"

What if like Elijah this is the time to call down fire from heaven on behalf of our nation...

What if like the woman with the issue of blood this is the time to fight for our survival no matter what it takes...

What if like Joseph (Mary's husband) this is the time to trust that God's will is worth the pursuit
even when we feel thrown off completely...

What if!
What if!
What if!
What if this is a wake up call from getting used to life as normal,
What if this is a reminder that life is in the things we perceive as little
What if like Jesus, this is the time to say,"not my will Father, but your will be done! "
What if what's going on through your mind right now is God’s leading...

( In a soft tone)
What if
What if, is something we all need to figure out...

Signed,
Winnie Doxa.

SIGH!

It happened too fast,
We had just met, I liked the way he smiled at me.
I liked being around him.
He told me I was the best thing that has ever happened to him
He told me he can't wait to make me his woman,
He told me all those things that give you butterflies...
And also,
He said, I make his world go around,
Imagine! I believe it...
Lol!

I wasn't very sure about him,
Everything physical looked like exactly what I wanted,
When he opened his mouth I could tell that He is smitten
Yet, I knew he hadn't given his life to Christ
How could he know so much about a God he never encountered?
I was awed,
A battle between what I wanted and what I prayed for begun in me.

It happened so fast,
Before I knew it,
We were out on dates,
We spent a lot of time chatting and calling each other.
It seemed like a dream come true,
The battle still continued and my flesh took the crown.
I couldn't imagine letting him go...

One day he was unwell,
I had to go and visit him at his place,
I cared for him,
And with time he recovered,
I still went to visit him,
Not knowing I was trapping myself...
It was a Sunday afternoon,
I had just come from church,
Passed by his place and before I knew it
I found myself in his bed.
How did this happen?

It happened so fast,
I felt so guilty, I felt I had betrayed my faith
I wondered if the church would accept me.
He was sorry, of course! And said whatever happened we are in it together,
I left and took sometime away from him to talk to myself,
Then I noticed I missed my periods...
Yes, I got pregnant...

It happened so fast,
How could I be so foolish,
The condemning voices begun,
I stopped going to church,
I had no friends from church,
My "prince charming"also left me
I was surely the award winning sinner of that time...
And in the midst of all that,
I had to find some little faith in me to keep me going!

So,
" It happened so fast,"
Is a statement I don't take lightly nowadays,
It reminds me of my brokenness, my vulnerability,
My lack of patience on waiting on God's promises for me.
And most importantly it also reminds me of
God's grace, love, mercy, patience and goodness.
My heart goes out to people like me who found themselves in spaces they never imagined because,
It happened so fast...

May God sustain you,
May you realize this is not the end of your story...
Praying Isaiah 54 over your life!

Nowadays,
I am learning to really slow down in the decisions and choices I make, because,
It happened too fast is a lesson I live with.

Signed,
Winnie Doxa.

Inspired by true life experiences...From the collection >>> #HeTookMeThrough! 

Overcomer You Are!

#OvercomerYouAre!

So,
I thought you would break me,
Not so much because you have the power to
But because you had mastered how to put me down
I began the year heart broken
I felt like life lost meaning
Forgetting that my worth cannot be tagged along who stays and who leaves....

I thought you would break me,

Because just when I thought I was getting healed, you sorrounded me with sorrow after sorrow...
While they were on parte after... 

I lost a relative who was more like a mother to me.
Then, another relative's home got burnt down
It felt like a thriller movie.
Before I could  recover,
We lost yet another relative, and another
and another...
I felt like I would lose my mind, literally!
I stopped telling people about it,
I was tired of explaining how.
The thought, 'Where is your God' was the playback in my mind.
He was still there...

I thought you would break me,
Because just when I thought I had lost enough,
I found myself looking for a place to stay, again!
Because I got evicted without notice...
My mind at this point wasn't functioning very well,
I felt extremely overwhelmed, I felt lost, I felt alone.
How can life become so cruel?
I wondered,
Anyway, I chose to breathe and sigh deeply.
As words couldn't describe how I felt.

I thought you ( 2019) would break me,
Because I had to make really tough decisions concerning my destiny.
Looking back, I am thankful to God that I met you.
I realized that you didn't have that power unless I gave it to you.
I realized that you were strengthening me
I realized you were shaping me,
Because now, more than ever,
I deeply emphasize with anyone going through loss
I haven't mastered it, as I reckon I can't,
But my perspective is definitely changed.

Thank you again
For showing me what I am really made of
For teaching me to find joy in the storms 
To filter negative vibes and focus on what builds   me up.
To find peace in chaos
To find God in silence
To find purposes in pain
And most importantly not to lose myself in pity party.
I am now looking forward to 2020 with my swords on.
I have to let you go 2019,
So, I forgave, forgave and forgave more
I can't carry you with me, though rest assured, I'll carry the lessons with me.

Happy new year!!!
May you rise above every obstacle realizing that He who is in you is greater than the one in the world.

Inspired by true life experiences.
From the collection...#HeTookMeThrough!

Signed,
Winnie Doxa.

#GoTell!

#TellThem! 

Tell them,
Tell them how you were lost
Lost in your filth, fears and failures,
Tell them how you were
Filled with anxiety and worry crowed your hours. 
Tell them that what they now admire is not who you've always been.

You know you were lost, 
Lost in Time, yet  Found in His Grace
He found you in the midst of chaos
Running away from His truth
The only truth that can set you free

Tell them,
Tell them you are a born again Christian

Not just for the fanciness of the name
Not just for show off
Not just to fit in, 
Tell them that You know Christ loves you
Tell them that you know He cares 
Not just for you,but for them too. 

Tell them, 
It's never too late for them to give their life to Jesus.

And when you're done telling them, 
Live it out, 
Because more than they want to hear about God's love story. 
They long to see it in you and me.

"And by this all men will know that we are His disciples, if we love one another." 

Signed,

Winnie Doxa.

#LostInTimeStory!

#MyBattleWithDepression!

I am,
Well, I can't quite explain how I feel
I battle with this thoughts in my mind
It's a fierce battle that makes me want to scream.
Stop!
Stop!
Silence please.

Wait,
How did I get myself here?
I thought counselling is for them,
I have been okay,
I was okay,
Atleast, the last time I checked.

Miss Winnie,
You are here now,
Don't be ashamed of being here,
I'm a doctor just like your normal doctor
And you're my patient, just like any other patient.
So if you allow me, kindly let's get started.

Sighs,
Alright!
I thought I was okay,
Then this thoughts of fear, insecurity, unworthiness, anxiety began crowding my mind.
I didn't want to talk to anyone about it.
I thought they wouldn't understand,
Actually,
I noticed I stopped doing the things I liked
I hid from the people I loved,
Even You,
Even God.
I didn't understand why they decided to walk away suddenly.
Suddenly what I knew to be home became strange
The people I thought had my back pulled out.
I lost my job and life lost meaning.

Tell me,
Why I'm I here?
Why do I feel this way?
Where is God in all this?

I battled suicide thoughts every moment,
I know you said you'll never leave me or forsake me.
God!
Where are you now!

Miss Winnie!
Please calm down,
I hear your frustrations.
And I really feel your pain,
I am your Counsellor,
Now that you've come,
Now that I got your attention,
I'll speak and you will listen!

When God said He has great plans for your life,
He meant it.
When he said He will always be there,
He meant it.
When you were homeless
He became your refuge
When you were sick and death mentioned your name,
He was your life,
When you couldn't tell them how deeply you are grieved.
He listened,
He comforted you
Sustained you
For His glory!
He cares about you,
Stop labeling your self,
You are a warrior,
A winner
An overcome!
Live like it!
You
My child,
Are never alone!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa

From the collection>>> #HeTookMeThrough!

#STARTAGAIN!

SHORT-CHANGED!

I've been learning alot lately...

Well, I hope you have been too.

Some of the lessons have been difficult to grasp.
But God is good! We don't fully need to understand but rest in the truth that He is still with us and has it all figured out.

So, 

It's true you are not where you thought you would be now.
It feels like life has given you a major

short-change...

You know...
You gave it your all
It gave back almost nothing.
And that's okay! 

It's okay that you are where you are now.
That the script didn't turn out as you had expected.
That they turned out to be who you never thought they are.

So,
In this new year, (change of seasons of life)
I feel like it has come with a new wave of everything.
The old me is gone
The new me keeps glowing as my King {Jesus} continuosly causes His light to shine upon me.

I've lived long enough to know that I know in my knower of knower that God is loving
That He is my Father
That He is my Healer
That He is my Restorer
That He is my Banner
That He is my Friend
That He is literally my all.

In this new year
I'm fascinated at the transformation taking place in me.
I am looking forward to being more like You( Jesus) daily as my Helper (Holyspirit) continues to work in me.
#I #am #making #room for You Jesus.
Take it all over!
Will you!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa

REACH OUT!

So...

Life happened!

And I had to let go of what I knew was killing me...
It took away my peace,my joy and  everything that created a safe environment for me.
I battled with the thought of letting it go,not cause I was complacent
But because I was afraid of what the future would bring forth.

I knew God wanted me to let go, but it was so hard this time.
Maybe I had become comfortable
Maybe I was used to the systems
Maybe I had stopped living by faith and put my confidence on stuff and people... 

So,
With my heart frail, hands shaking and feet trembling
I finally had to submit myself to His will
I let go of what I thought was it.
What everyone around me thought was it.
I have chosen to reach out to the unknown.
To walk as if I am blind with my eyes of faith open and fixated on Christ alone! 

And this time,
I need you God to keep me reminded that all I'll ever need is You!

Signed, 

Winnie Doxa.

Photo Courtesy of  #JimmyMburu