TRAPPED!
She was my dream girl,
A rare gem
With beauty to behold!
I liked her, but I wasn’t really sure if she’d date
or even go out with me
You see,
I’m a man battling many things,
I was raised by a single mum,
The firstborn male in my family,
I didn’t quite get to campus,
And I’m also trying to figure out this salvation
thing
So, I keep serving God as much as I can.
But the truth is, I’m not sure I’m really saved…
It all began when I met her in church,
She was everything you now call, a slay queen.
She was a first time visitor and I must admit, I was
smitten
Being the youth Pastor,
I later followed her up with a call for welcoming
first time visitors,
You know…
And one call, led to another and before I realized,
We were chatting frequently, having long
conversations…
But hey!
What’s wrong with just, “Pastoring ?“
I didn’t notice I was slowly falling into her trap…
She was so tactful,
She made sure my mind was fully engaged with her,
Her photos on instagram…
Oh man!
Irresistible!
Though she showed off some skin,
Well, actually a lot.
I just found myself liking them and even commenting,
“Girl, you’ve put me on fire”
I was trapped,
And I fell in,
How I found myself in her bed, I can’t quite explain…
It happened once, twice and many more times.
She had taken me over with her deception.
I didn’t know I was digging my own grave.
When she was done, she dumped me!
I continued to serve God with my guilt, anger and
bitterness.
No one will ever know I committed this sin.
I’ll just move on like nothing happened.
I didn’t realize that those sexual encounters with
her were turning me into the man I never thought I would become.
I began living recklessly
Taking advantage of every girl that came my way
Young, old, same age, anyone ready and willing to
lay in bed with me, would have it.
After all, I got great looks, who would say no?
I turned into a beast,
Not realizing that I was hurting someone’s daughter,
someone’s sister, someone’s marriage…
And the worst part, is that,
I never realized, I was hurting me more!
Who have I become?
Tell me, who I’m I?
When did my conscience die?
When did I stop realizing that God is still
watching?
I’ve lost her too,
The one who genuinely loved me.
Because all I knew was to take advantage of people,
To use and abuse them, then dump them as soon I was
done
I need deliverance!
I need healing!
I need restoration!
I need forgiveness!
And maybe this will take me a lifetime…
Can’t you all see that I’m a wounded man!
Trapped in sexual cycles,
Battling my other insecurities,
Hiding in the Christian circles to make me feel a
little good about me.
But hey!
Man or woman,
You don’t have to end up in this kind of mess,
Please beware of the traps,
Learn from my story!
The struggle is real!
I’m slowly and surely losing it.
Pray for me!
By
Winnie Doxa.
