#MyQuarantineStruggles!
How did that happen?
I wondered,
In this quarantine,
I decided I'll not miss the online church service,
The online Bible study and everything that can help me stay on the narrow path,
You know...
But hey,
Stuff happens,
I don't know how I got myself here.
It started with a call,
He told me he had missed me,
He said that he's been wanting to tell me something, but, he just didn't know how.
At this point, my heart was pumping like water released from a reservoir,
Many thoughts were crossing my mind with excitement at the imagination of us being together.
For a moment, my mind wondered...
"Kwani God huyu #DearFutureHusbae umemleta mapema aje?
Sikuwa na haraka hivi but anyway, si wewe ni God, I'll flow with it. "
How did I get myself here?
One call led to another,
To late night chats,
And video calls...
I was on flight mode ya'll , ready to fly in the direction my heart beat.
After all, maybe God has allowed this quarantine to be the season we finally get together.
I thought to myself...
He told me, he can't wait for the quarantine to end.
We got to do this now!
I was so excited,
Battling every voice of reason in me
I just wanted this to be my reality
I just wanted to say, 'I have someone. '
Lol!
The more time elapsed,
The more the reality that this was never meant to be hit me.
He's single, I'm single, we like each other, let's just get together, you know...
I tried to convince myself,
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I needed yet another confirmation from God.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I needed to repent of willful sin.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I felt I was fighting so hard for what wasn't mine.
Every time we met, I went back on my knees cause I felt we were never on the same page...
So,
This piece I'm writing to all singles battling this quarantine realities,
I wonder if you've had a, "how did I get myself here moments..."
I wonder if you've allowed yourself to believe the lie that it's now or never,
Remember, #HeIsWorthTheWait!
I wonder if you've fallen into the trap of the line, I've always wanted to tell you this...
Have you settled for less?
I'm writing to all married people battling this quarantine realities,
I wonder if you've also had a, "how did I get myself here moments..."
I wonder if you've allowed yourself to be soothed by her/ his seductive words...
I wonder if you you've allowed yourself to believe that so and so's marriage is better than yours cause of what you see them post...
I wonder if you've fallen into the trap of being on social media checking out someone and wishing you were with them...
Have you believed the lie that your husband or wife is not good enough?
God,
I repent, in sackcloth and ashes,
Search me and know me,
Keep me from willful sin,
Protect me from every temptation magnified by this quarantine season.
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit more and more
Because I've figured,
You're all that I really need.
In Jesus name I pray!
Amen!
May God protect us from every temptation magnified by this Quarantine Season.
#WeShallOvercome!
Signed,
Winnie Doxa.
From the collection #HeartToHeart! ❤️
