Let's Start Over Again!

#NewBeginning!

I want to call you X,
But honestly,
I never saw you as one,
Our friendship was unique,
Our attraction was electrifying
And our love, binding.
Or so, I thought.

Even after we broke up,
Part of me, carried you everywhere I went,
I compared the men I had with you,
Because deep inside I wished I was still with you
None of those relationships worked,
Maybe mostly because I never fully allowed my heart to let go of you

I was foolish,
Everyday I wished you could come back
I hoped you could call me back
Maybe I overrated the love you had for me
Maybe I believed the lie that no man would love me like you did
Maybe I was too afraid to trust God with this part of me,
My heart.

So, today,
After almost two decades of knowing you,
I've finally gathered the courage to call you my X
I've finally decided to give this heart back to the one who gave it to me,
God!
Atleast I know He can stop the world just to prove that He loves me,
Something I wish you did, but maybe you didn't love me enough to dare to try.

Dear X,
Thank you for the lessons you taught me.
Thank you for showing me how long suffering I can be.
Thank you for challenging me to believe God for better beyond what you could ever become.
Thank you for creating fears that translated to bold moves
Thank you for helping me find me.
I would love to carry you with me,
But I can't,
Because more than I want to remain safe.
I got to grow.
It's finally, truly, over!

Signed,

Winnie Doxa.

Song playing #WeDance by #BethelMusic 🥰